It’s an excellent feeling when you hear your children, laugh and giggle together. A laughable moment when you see them try to plot schemes together to coax their parents into giving them another cookie…. or an iPhone. Or the satisfying emotion when you see the siblings comfort each other when one of them feels blue. While some siblings click together at the earliest stages, others may require some more adjustment time.
Tantrums, temper, envy…. if you have more than one child, observing these emotions from your toddlers is an inevitable process. Sibling rivalry often leaves parents exhausted over their children and the constant bickering, teasing, and in some cases, aggressive language and behaviour between each other.
Over some time, after endless efforts put in by parents and after the kids burn all the anger from within them, siblings eventually accept the fact that the other isn’t going away any time soon. And so, the ‘sibling bond’ gradually starts to form. At the most, they may get into a few arguments and a few childish pranks every now and then. This is all a part of healthy sibling relations.
In some cases, the sibling rivalry may last a little longer before they begin to be civil towards one another. This means, it could take a lot more effort and constant monitoring by parents.
In these situations, the toddler age group is the perfect time to make them learn and understand what sibling relations mean. To get them engaging in a plethora of fun activities with others, so they learn the importance of sharing and to train their young minds into accepting and adjusting to uncontrollable events around them.
Some Ways Parents Can Help Cool Down Sibling Rivalry
- Get them- to work things out together: The most natural way to reduce Sibling Rivalry and begin the bonding process is to let the siblings work it out themselves. This will help teach them skills to resolve conflicts now and in later stages as well. In severe/ stubborn cases, give them an ultimatum- no gadgets for a day, until they stop bickering and find a way to get along.
- Get them- to do house chores together: To get each child involved in work together, the most straightforward and convenient task you can get them to do is, household chores. Get them the opportunity to decide what they would like to work and accordingly, split the work- Sibling A collects laundry, sibling B helps in fluffing the couch cushions. No matter how menial the task, the aim is to get them working and bonding together. This will also show that each child is being treated equally.
- Get them- involved in hands-on activities: This is the best time to take away their gadgets and thrust some origami and building blocks in front of them. To get siblings to work together, make it challenging, time-bound, and have a reward at the end. You can even make it team-based- siblings VS parents in a time-bound board game. The children will learn how to share, resolve conflicts among themselves, and during the game, and of course, everyone gets to have some fun!
- Get them- involved in team-based sports games: Speaking of teams, add in a rough and tough competitive environment. Get the siblings engaged in team-based sports activities where they work together on the same side. This will provide a change in their surroundings to learn how to get along well with one another. This also helps instill in them crucial team-building qualities and help them understand the importance of building trust in one another…and the list continues to go on.
- Try not to get them against each other. It will just fuel their ongoing rivalry, which they could bring back home too. Since the surroundings are a lot more competitive- children tend to put in twice the effort to work with one another. And…it also helps when they come back home exhausted from the game, which gives you a break from their constant bickering and tattles.
- Get them- involved in recreational activities: Be it camping, trekking, a 12km hike, or even golfing. Involve the siblings in some peaceful recreational activities where they can just talk while engaging in some fun exercises as well. You can also get the siblings even more involved by getting them to set up the tent or having them divide the baggage load and carry supplies equally. Want to take it up a notch? Have them decide on the activities they would like to spend time in and come up with a plan where each gets to determine a weekly or monthly event. This will help them communicate better among themselves at the same time, they will look forward to partaking in more activities. After all…., the primary goal is to get them to bond together.
No matter what activity you come up with, the aim is to get all the siblings involved and for them to work with one another. At some point, when they get on some work together, their bond will just click. There will be times when neither will budge towards the other siblings’ requirements, days where there will be constant squabbling, and in some cases, aggressive behaviour. In these moments, parents, you want to step in and set some harsher consequences.
However, the majority of the time, it’s best to leave the siblings on their own, to work out things and give them sly nudges every now and then to push them in the right direction. A compliment, a treat, a smidge of advice, or even some jabbing comment can help steer your child in the right direction.
Spend adequate time with each child individually and together. They all need to know that no matter what his/her sibling gets, there is more than enough for themselves too.
Hope these tips on Sibling Rivalry have helped!
Take care, and Good luck.
