Working Mom Series: How to Cope with the Guilt & Thrive as a Working Mom

As a working mom, your work is never done.

There’s ALWAYS one more load of laundry.

Another sticky mess to scrub.

And there’s always a dirty dish in the sink (Why is there always a dirty dish?)

If you’re a mom battling the day struggling to find the time to ‘do it all’, you may also be feeling guilty and face some self-doubts about the choices you are making in life.

Working Moms go through a range of emotions when trying to balance their careers and families. It’s the nature of the job (pun intended).

From crying at your desk because you think your baby loves the nanny more to dropping off a screaming toddler at daycare and then bursting into tears, being a working mom comes with its emotional challenges.

The post is meant for you to relate to the millions of moms around the world who struggle with similar emotions daily. It also has some helpful suggestions to help you deal with them.

What is Working Mom guilt?

Working mom guilt is when something happens that makes you feel guilty about being a working mom. For example, you may feel guilty when you leave your little one crying at daycare or you forget something for school because you were too busy thinking about work.

On the days your feeling down, you’ll probably feel like you’re the only one who’s going through these struggles and that everyone else has it easier.

But, you are not alone. You are one of many mothers in the world who is working to make a living and also trying to be the best mom possible.

Below are some common emotions felt by Working Moms & how to cope with them

You’ll miss your kids while at work 

You might have pictures of your kids on your desk or as a screensaver on your computer, but there’s one inevitable reality you face as a working mom. You’ll miss your kids while at work and you’ll think that you’re not doing your job well because you’re thinking about your kids.

Sometimes, it will feel like no matter what decision you make, you feel upset or hurt since you feel guilty when you’re with them and guilty when you’re working.

In her book Forget Having It All, author and journalist Amy Westervelt sums up the working mom dilemma: “We expect women to work like they don’t have children, and raise children as if they don’t work.”

Now, while there’s no blueprint for how you should balance both your life as a mother with your career, here are some tips we think might help:

• Make an agreement with yourself about when you’ll work on weekends
• Make sure you schedule some “you” time into the day – even if it’s just 15 minutes and don’t feel guilty about it.
• If there’s a major event coming up in your child’s life that you can’t miss, make sure to put in the time before or after work.

You feel guilty because you don’t have time for housework 

The laundry is piling up and your checklist of errands to run keeps getting bigger and bigger.

But don’t panic, because that’s normal.

Just because there are piles of dishes in your sink when you come home from work each night doesn’t mean that you’re failing as a mother or at being a ‘working mother’.

You are a hardworking woman who is trying to do the best she can for her family and herself in this sometimes crazy, multi-tasking, ever-connected world we live in!

Here are a few ways in which can help you solve the problem:

• Create a checklist that outlines all of your daily tasks (preferably on your phone for ease of access).
• Use Technology to help. You can shop online for groceries, order home delivery, or even book a service like JustMop so an experienced cleaner comes and gets rid of the dishes and dusts your furniture!
• If budget permits, hire a Virtual Assistant. A VA can help you make sure that all the little tasks are getting done. It is well worth the small additional fee to save my sanity and time
• Define your physical and mental limits; then, stick to them.
• Ask for help – One of the hardest things for many working moms to do is ask for help. But instead of trying to do it all herself, she should ask someone else to share in her workload and lighten upon herself. Reach out to neighbours, personal friends, parents of your kids’ friends, your own parents, your in-laws, the aftercare program at school, or carpool parents.
• Know what to say NO. It’s important you know when it is time to delegate and not be a “yes, but” person. Be sure that your priorities are being met so you can feel confident in yourself and the decisions you make.

Conclusion 

If you judge yourself too much, you will only create more stress in your life so it’s important that you reserve self-judgment. While we’re all human and mommy guilt may get the best of you sometimes it’s important to be kind and gentle with yourself and remind yourself that no one is perfect.

Always know this: You’re doing the best you can and that’s all any parent could ever hope for.

While it might not feel like it, your kids are proud of what you do and they love spending time with their working mom who is juggling a career with family life.

Do what works for your family and most importantly, remember that you’re not alone on this journey!